We Miss You Dad
This photo may not be perfect but it holds a deeper meaning that words can barely capture. It's a frame of a moment in time that speaks volumes about my dad—the larger-than-life figure he was in our family and community, the quiet strength he displayed during his final summer and the respect everyone had for him. My dad passed away from cancer in October 2021 after a brief but fierce battle that was diagnosed in May. What stands out to me, more than anything, was his determination to be present with his family during this last summer despite his suffering.
In August, this moment was captured at my niece’s birthday party, a family gathering where we were all sitting around, waiting for supper. The weather had been mostly cloudy, and there was a sense of heaviness in the air. Yet, at this exact moment, the clouds parted, and the sun broke through, shining directly on my dad while my grandson stared wonderingly into his dark sunglasses. I quickly readied my camera. As I pressed the shutter, Dad was placing a corn ring on EACH of my grandson’s fingers. This was something Dad had done every other day at the lake with his three great-grandchildren, even as he was becoming weaker by the day. The children could not get enough of Dad, nor the corn rings! It seemed Dad always found a way through his actions to show the love and the connection he shared with them…all of us.
Everyone loved my dad. He was a great son, brother, uncle, cousin, husband, father and friend while acting as principal, mayor, coach, and an active member of community clubs—always giving, always leading. Dad was caring, demanding, supportive, and knowledgeable, but above all, he was present. Even as Dad was deteriorating, he made the effort to connect with everyone around him and that effort was so deeply felt by all of us.
When I look at this photo, it’s not just a picture of my dad and my grandson; it’s a reflection of the legacy my father left behind—one of love, leadership, and the feelings we had for him. The fact that the sun chose that moment to shine down on him, as if the universe itself was honoring him, makes this image even more poignant. It reminds me that while the moments may be fleeting, the love and respect we have for each other lasts forever.
I feel the photo is perfectly imperfect, but in that imperfection, it says everything and shows much more. Unfortunately you can see the cancer building up inside his arms but Dad still had a smile on his face which was also ready to tear up understanding his fate. More importantly, it says that even as my dad was fighting an impossible battle, he still found the strength to be there for his family. It says that his presence, his care, and his love will never be forgotten. It’s a reminder that the most meaningful moments are often the ones we can’t plan or capture perfectly, but the ones that hold the deepest significance. Fortunately, I was also able to quickly catch similar photos of Dad with my granddaughter and grand-niece as they also got into line!
In memory of my dad, Don Toporowski, this moment will always remind me of what really matters—the people we love, the moments we share, and the legacy we leave behind. Love you Dad!
